Apple of My Eye by Valerie Cheers Brown

“The apple of my eye is my daughter Tricia Elise and I was the happiest young mother on June 25, 1972.”

Most stories which I have read which state that a father’s participation in their daughter’s life is most important is true somewhat and not true in other respects. My daughter was an honor student in college and is now a Director on her job of an Early Childhood Center and when you walk into any center where my daughter has been a part of, you will know it was my daughter who made it look and feel that way along with her team. Most of all what my daughter’s center allows the children to become is most remarkable.

I know one time when they had a graduation at one of her Early Childhood Centers, they had red carpet for the children to walk down, wave and smile and most of the children when graduated; were able to speak in a crowd full of people like little leaders.

It is so not true that daughters will not complete and graduate college because my daughter did quite the opposite. I participated with my daughter the whole entire time she was in college. I participated so much with my daughter while she studied and graduated from Stephen College an all-girl’s college, I got an award upon her graduation and marching and they called me up to receive this honor for participating with not only my daughter but the other girls when they came to Saint Louis, I kept an eye out for their safety. Some of her friends were people like the famous sports radio announcer Jack Buck’s daughter.

When my daughter was in college I would work overtime and I worked near her high school which was Parkway Central in Chesterfield, and I would stay late just so she could participate in her activities after school and I would pick her up afterward. I supported my child all during school and a mother’s love is unconditional, but the love of their father is crucial and helps the girl with how she allows men to treat her and most of all makes for a much happier adult as a woman willing to love others more freely and allow to be loved which is most important.

Because my daughter’s dad was not a part of her life, I married somebody else and this could be detrimental especially when that person is not a part of his own children. So, what I did was become a part of his children and my children and we still are in contact, especially the oldest daughter from a previous marriage.
I know how important it is for a father to be in a daughter’s life but it depends on the daughter too. I had a wonderful dad in my life, but I was a magnet to abusive men and my daughter’s father was just that and into my second marriage so was he, but that was then and this is now and I am so happy to be alive to share my story.

But my birth daughter, Tricia and my other daughters from previous marriage, mean the world to me and I would not trade them for anybody!

Just a reminder, I supported my daughter when she was in high school and especially during her after-school sports activities, worked overtime to be close so I could pick her up after school, and when she was in college I supported my daughter 101% and she graduated with honors and is now a director on her job.

So, we mothers have to be there for our children regardless of what society says should happen. A father just does not know that when he gets older how he will miss not being in his child’s life which will affect him and backfire on them!

I always say our children are ours for life and it truly bothers how I hear many and I do hear many of my black brothers saying when their kids get eighteen they got to get out of their houses! I hear it a lot and not saying all black men, but I hear this a lot with my very own ears.

I pray for fathers who neglect their children period and mainly their daughters and if you got a problem with somebody, they should take it up with God and pray and forgive those who hurt us. But, don’t you realize how much you are and may have hurt your very own daughters?
I pray for all mothers and fathers out there and pray that father’s step up to the home plate and be responsible for what you and your partner created. Your children are a blessing from God who will be there for you when they need them and sometimes they will be there for us when we thought we didn’t need them.
Don’t hold grudges against the mom and/or her family because of your very own lack of faith of yourself and have a talk with God and He will make a way for you and your child to be there for one another.

It is not written in stone anywhere that a daughter is who or how her father treats her. As little children we remember things which our parents don’t think we will remember, which have great effects on our lives too as adults. As children we remember bad things more than good things and this is what being a child is all about, so we must begin to watch and make sure of what our babies even in our wombs, see, hear and watch.

Do you know where your daughter is at this moment? If you don’t, pray to God to find her and then forgive yourself and make amends with your daughter and it is never too late to be what you should have been when you were younger. Be there for your children and God will bless you.

I love YOU and am so very proud of you Tricia Elise!

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